FANNIES BEING FANNIES

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I'm going to be posting short stuff for the next week. Just warning you.

A lot of folks I know out here are Dodger fans, and they're out in force tonight in San Diego, where they're naturally cheering Manny Ramirez. They're not just warmly welcoming him back with forgiveness; they're going crazy for him. Dodger fans sold the place out, and they're letting him know that they don't care if he cheated, and they don't care that he lied about it. They're into the mindless adulation mode. It's ridiculous. Padres fans are booing, but the fans down from L.A. wearing blue are standing and cheering. Of course.

And it's ridiculous that the same fans were among the most vicious against Barry Bonds. Bonds was different because he was a Giant, and because... er... well, that's it. Oh, and Manny is a smiling, loveable liar, while Barry was a scowling, nasty liar. Makes all the difference in the world.

Maybe as a Phillies fan, accused of being the lowest of low sports fans, I'm a little sensitive, but, geez, this makes Dodger fans look bad. Forgiveness is fine, but control yourselves. He's no hero.


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This week's All Access newsletter is about the need for radio to start selling itself, and for hosts to get into the habit of publicizing themselves. After all, nobody else is gonna do it for them:

One thing that radio has never really been good at is telling people about itself. I thought this week was a good example of that, when I saw countless articles and TV news segments about how the media reacted to Michael Jackson's death and few of those talked about what radio did.

Yes, there were exceptions, and I'm not going to get into the debate (which I kind of started last week) about how radio did with the story. It seems like every market had its first responders and its laggards, and there were, to be sure, news reports where the cameras showed a DJ talking up "Thriller" or "Man in the Mirror" or something, but most of what I heard was talk about TMZ.com and Twitter and that kind of stuff. Newspapers were shown as way behind, TV was late, and radio? At least radio wasn't called out much for being late or wrong, but it wasn't brought up much at all, good or bad. Out of sight, out of mind. Yet, as discussed here last week, some stations were on top of things, and, surely, there were radio talk shows that jumped on the story and broke the news to a huge audience and provided listeners with a place to get the information and call in to express themselves. Wasn't that worth a mention?

But it's the same as any other story. If you don't tell people what you're doing, they aren't going to know. I see this happening all the time. Some stations and hosts are great about this -- they pepper trade reporters like myself and TV and newspaper assignment editors with press releases and calls. The stations immediately make sure that the local TV crews know they can get lots of b-roll or interviews or whatever, right away. If there's a promotion, they tell everyone when and where and who and how.

And then there's the rest of you. Something happens, and there's silence. Schedule changes come and go with no acknoledgement. People get hired and fired and it's like pulling teeth to get anyone to admit it. There are entire groups of stations -- you know who you are -- over which descends the Cone of Silence whenever there's news, good or bad. There are hosts who go into witness protection when they've been let go, or their schedules have been changed. And in cases where publicity is cheap and easy -- like, say, a really famous entertainer died and you're talking about it on the air, with VU meters wiggling and all the phone lines blazing -- they don't make the phone call to the local TV news department.

Then they wonder why radio isn't getting its due.

I know that staffs have been pared back to the marrow, and there may not even be a marketing department at your station. But when something big is happening, you have to tell the world what you're doing. That should be part of your station procedures for major events and emergencies: Put someone in charge of calling and e-mailing all the local TV stations, newspapers, major websites, and trade reporters (ahem) to let them know what you're doing and that they can come to the station to get video and pictures and whatever else they need. Maybe you didn't break the story like TMZ, but your goal is to make sure that the public notices the hard work you did. So make those calls.

The same goes for all of you on a personal level; If you're doing something worth bragging about, brag. Filling in for someone? Doing a guest shot on some local TV show? Gotten yourself appointed to a municipal board of some sort? Spread the word. That's how you get noticed. That's how you get more work.

Radio just doesn't do a great job overall of tooting its own horn. Look, radio's problems will not be fixed by a public relations campaign. (The less said about "Radio Heard Here," the better) And getting mentions in the paper, or 30 seconds of your afternoon host on the evening news, or a link from a popular website, well, they won't change public perception of radio overnight. But there's no reason your hard work should be ignored, ever. We're in the communications business. Communicate.

======================

I'm going to be taking the next week off to decompress, read a few good books, sleep a little later (if my cat will let me), and celebrate my birthday (I can't stand birthdays... what? Cake? Ice cream? Well, then happy birthday to me!). During that time, I won't be updating Talk Topics the way I usually do, but I'll probably drop in from time to time and post some stuff, because I'm not really well-versed on this "time off" thing. The rest of the All Access staff will be on duty, though, and you'll find continuing coverage of all things talk radio in Net News and all the other great resources and information for which you depend on All Access, so keep coming by as usual. It's still free, you know.

And if you're in the U.S., enjoy the holiday weekend. See you in two weeks.


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THROWN OFF

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With Friday being an off day, I have to get the column done earlier. I thought I'd get it done tonight, but I don't have that kind of luck, so not only is the column not ready for early delivery yet, it's not ready for here. That means I have nothing for either venue.

I know what I'm gonna write about, though, so I'll... no, I'll just hold onto it. It'll be here as soon as it's done.

Patience...


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INACTION, REWARDED

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It seems like the less I write here at this site, the more popular it gets. I swear, the numbers are going up and I'm half-assing it here lately. I've been lacking in the time to do more and I've just not been in the mood. My apologies all around.

But I'm getting some time off coming up, and I'm valiantly trying to keep my head in the game. It's been hard, because I've been having to take care of a lot of personal stuff that not only has taken up a lot of time, but has served as a distraction on a daily basis. It's easier to post 140 characters or less on Twitter/Facebook.

I will, however, continue to post here. In fact, as soon as time permits, there'll be more, shall we say, multimedia. So you have that to look forward to. Almost had something today, but staring blankly at the computer... er, working diligently at writing my columns left too little time. Anyway, I'm not abandoning the site, although at this rate, if I did, the numbers would REALLY go up.


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HUMAN TOUCH

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It never ceases to amaze me how I can manage to get through an entire day without talking to anyone in person but Fran and the cat.

I am shy by nature, but not a hermit. I don't dread social contact. I'm friendly to the cashiers at Ralphs, I like to see friends, but... but... well, on a day like this, I feel like I'm hiding in plain sight.

It's not like I don't leave the house, either. Let's see: I got up and worked in the home office for several hours. I went for a run/plod, on which I nodded hello to a couple of other runners but said nothing. I came back, showered, worked for more hours, ate lunch with Fran, worked, drove to the YMCA, worked out -- okay, I said five words to the guy at the counter, "towel and token... thank you" -- said nothing to anyone at the gym, got back into the car, stopped at the post office, said nothing, came home, showered, worked, ate... that's it. I did take some phone calls, but nothing face to face. And now, I'm here at the end of the day and if not for my wife and Ella the World's Most Famous Cat (who got the day off to a rousing start by puking up a pile of Fancy Feast), I'd have no contact with any sentient being all day.

Part of it is living at the edge of the earth. We are convenient to very little here, a condition we like -- unlike most of the Los Angeles area, it's quiet and peaceful and even the air is cleaner. Go south a half-block, and you're in the ocean. Go north a couple of blocks, you're facing a tall mini-mountain. You can drive to civilization, but the incentive to do so is limited, especially when one, like myself, has to get up at 3 am.

I COULD make friends around here, but I haven't identified how to do that very efficiently yet. Life here seems to have stratified into two classes, the parent class and the retiree class. We don't have kids, so we're not part of the school society. And we're not retired, so that doesn't work. We're not "society," either, which seems to be the basis for many of the local civic groups that get their functions pictured in the back of Peninsula People. And while I'm very peripherally "show biz," this is decidedly NOT a show biz area, which was a major selling point for us to move here but which does have its drawbacks, mostly involving trying to explain to people what I do for a living. My primary identity here is as "that guy who runs all the time," because my schedule has me on the road at a particular time of the morning where people can wonder "what the hell could that guy do that allows him to do that NOW?" I do have conversations with some of the neighbors sometimes, and they're very nice people, but my interaction with them wholly depends on both of us happening to be outside at the same moment.

I told you I'm no good at this.

One of these days, I'm going to make a concerted effort to meet more people in the community and truly become part of the fabric of the city. I'm going to make more local friends and become more social. By then, of course, it'll be as a member of AARP and the Peninsula Seniors, because it ain't happening any time soon. I got work to do. Indoors, at home.


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SUNDAY MISCELLANY

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More random thoughts:

Maybe the Phillies are snapping out of the funk. Even Lidge managed to get out of Sunday's game with a save, and Moyer won his second straight. The sun's shining.

Sorry to hear about Billy Mays, and Gale Storm. And Jacko, Sky Saxon, Farrah, Ed, and whoever else has or is about to pass on. I could use a break from all this death stuff, though.

It got hot in the L.A. area. But it's not that hot here by the ocean, where the marine layer keeps things reasonable. Nature's air conditioner. Love it.

Still haven't decided whether to go down to San Diego for Padres-Dodgers on my birthday next Sunday. Even with Manny on hand. Still thinking meh.

Caved and pre-ordered the Windows 7 upgrade. Figured at worst that I'll be able to play with it a little, and at best it'll breathe a couple more years of life into the six year old Dell desktop. Although I'm working more and more on the MacBook Pro now. It's just better. I'm pissed off that the Win7 upgrade doesn't apply to Win7 Release Candidate (which is what I run in VMWare Fusion on the Mac), but you can't have everything, and I don't really use WIn7 much on the Mac, anyway. Next: Do I finally upgrade iLife to '09 for iMovie's shaky-cam reduction?

One week until time off...


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EVERY DAY SHOULD BE SATURDAY

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Yeah, well, it's Saturday and I'm just tired again. Got two workouts in, worked some, ran some errands. Shot a little video over at the Terranea resort, but I'm too lazy to dump it into the computer and edit, so maybe tomorrow. Or not. I'd rather just go into the other room and watch TV for a while.

So I will.

UPDATE: In my e-mail box, a message with this subject line:

E! Breaking News: Kendra Wilkinson Married

When the marriage of Kendra Wilkinson and Hank Freakin' Baskett is "Breaking News," we have descended to a new low.


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JACKO: NAAN BETTER

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I'm not sure when everyone else reached Michael Jackson overload. I did sometime yesterday evening, but due to, well, my job, I had to plow through more Jacko all day today. And there was Jacko in abundance on every news program on TV, national and local. Facebook, Twitter, everywhere I looked, Jacko.

And I wondered when it would be safe to admit that I never really liked his music, couldn't stand the videos, never bought into the whole gloved-one persona. Some others have unloaded on the guy already. I can't do that, even though I didn't like his music and was completely creeped out by, well, you know. And that's because, despite it all, he did mean a lot to a lot of people. There's no point to peeing in the punchbowl right now. Let the mourners mourn.

Meanwhile, enjoy Bollywood Thriller:


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This week's All Access newsletter is about being prepared when a big story breaks, like... um... hmm... I can't think of any examples lately:

Where were you when you heard Elvis died? Or Princess Diana? For a lot of people of a certain age, Thursday was one of those days. But for Michael Jackson's death, radio and television weren't the primary way a lot of people got the news. In fact, TMZ.com had the story before everyone, and was out there on a limb alone for a while before other news organizations confirmed it. A few observations about that:

1. Practically everyone was careful to note that until there was confirmation from a more trusted source, like an established news organization, one shouldn't assume the news of Jackson's death to be true. That says a lot about the value of an "old media" news brand, even in the new media era. (And the trustworthiness of sites perceived as "real news" versus "gossip sites," but that's another topic)

2. Nevertheless, the first place a lot of people seemed to go this time was to the Internet. The exchanges on Facebook and Twitter were where news was being disseminated, and where conversations were being held.

That second point is something radio should be looking at. People have more choices on where to go for breaking news, and for a place to talk about and commiserate over events. And since that's the world you live in now, you have to answer this question:

When the news started breaking, and people were tuning in to your station to find out what was going on, did you have the information? Did they immediately get the latest?

If the answer was no... yeah, well, see, that's a problem.

The argument here isn't over whether the media overreacted to the news of Michael Jackson's death. It's about what your listeners want, expect, and need from you. With all the talk about wanting to reach people under the age of Medicare, this was a perfect example of a story that hit the sweet spot. People who were in high school when "Thriller" came out are in their mid- to upper-thirties today. To them, Michael Jackson was Elvis. He was iconic, whether they were big fans or just casual consumers. Add to that the controversy and just plain weirdness of his life in the intervening years, and you didn't have to be a radio genius to see that it was time to drop everything else and talk about this one for a while, whether you liked him or not.

In my informal talk radio scan of the local dial, many stations here did that. At least, by 3 pm Pacific, they did. A few stations stuck with syndicated hosts, one of whom was talking about health care proposals and the other of whom was railing about the president. But even the sports stations were on it for a little bit. It was that big.

Yet the fact that there were shows that DIDN'T go with the biggest story of the day -- a story guaranteed to make worldwide headlines -- troubled me. And the way some shows seemed a little uncertain of what to do with the story also didn't quite sit right. Everyone should have a plan for stuff like this. And here's that plan:

1. Huge news means bailing from "regular programming." If someone tunes into your station, they need to hear talk about that story immediately. Not after the next news, not in the next hour, but right away. If they don't hear that right away, they're gone. And, next time, chances are they won't turn to you.

2. Someone should be assigned to sit in front of a computer and just troll the Internet for information. They need to have Twitter Search, Facebook, Google Trends, and several browser tabs going at once. In fact, let's face it, in 2009, radio stations should have someone doing that 24/7. Even if it's an intern, there should be someone looking for news on a constant basis. You can't wait for the thing to move on the wires; your listeners hear about stuff from the Net way before that.

3. If you don't have a lot of material yet -- if, like in this case, the news is dribbling out without detail or in some cases confirmation -- go to the phones. When something like Michael Jackson's death happens, people are looking for someplace to just express themselves about it, whether it's grief or anger or indifference. They can do it on Facebook, but radio's still a contender in that category, because it's easier (not to mention safer) to call in while driving than to post a tweet behind the wheel, and the sound of people exchanging their thoughts about huge news is a strength of the radio medium. Use that.

Simple. So... is your station ready for the next huge story?

While you think about that, I'll take the opportunity to plug All Access News-Talk-Sports and the Talk Topics column, where you'll find material for any show from big stories like Michael Jackson and Iran to poop jokes. Eclectic, that's what we are. This week, the topics include the other huge celebrity death -- no, we do have Farrah, but that's not what... Ed? Got that too, but no, we... well, all right, I was talking about Sky Saxon, from The Seeds of "Pushing Too Hard" fame. Hey, you have your celebrities, I have mine. Plus, there's an apt political commentary from an incontinent monkey, some very bad mothers (shut your mouth!) (sorry, couldn't resist), Gov. Sanford's Argentinan odyssey, strip searches, pistachio recalls, North Korean threats, the landmark case of Kookaburra v. Down Under, a consideration of why Eddie Murphy keeps getting work in movies, the USA soccer upset win, the greatest toilet-related invention maybe ever, a DUI on a golf cart, a joyride on a steamroller, expensive knee surgery for a cat, a naked statue, the Naked Cowboy's controversial homecoming, cell phones for four-year-olds, and the best idea for a sports mascot yet. Wow. You'll also enjoy "10 Questions With..." Illinois-based regionally syndicated talker Michael Koolidge and the rest of All Access with the radio and music industry's best, most complete, most accurate coverage, columns, ratings, job listings, and lots more, all free.

Enjoy the weekend.


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